To the Editor:
Re “Helicopter Parenting Works,” by Pamela Druckerman (Op-Ed, Feb. 8):
As a psychologist, I found the headline misleading. Ms. Druckerman writes that “the most effective parents,” according to the authors of a new book, “are ‘authoritative.’” However, authoritative and helicopter parenting are not synonymous; there are significant differences that make one style effective and the other style harmful.
Authoritative parents set realistic limits and expectations, but do not overcontrol their children’s choices. These children make mistakes and suffer the natural consequences, while still knowing that they have supportive parents to help them recover. Helicopter parents protect them from ever making mistakes and sweep in to rescue them.
Children of authoritative parents are successful because they learn responsibility and accountability, whereas children of helicopter parents have increased anxiety and depression as well as underachievement because their parents do not allow them to experience normal life stressors.
I worry that the author’s portrayal and endorsement of helicopter parenting provides an inaccurate and possibly detrimental message.
Cate BrandonLakewood, Ohio
To the Editor:
Pamela Druckerman has summarized and analyzed the recent research on “helicopter parenting” that concludes that having parents highly involved in their child’s education and interests can have positive results. As a teacher for more than 30 years, I have known for a long time that this is true. But there’s a point at which these parents cross a line, and that has the potential to be detrimental to the child and society as a whole.
I call these parents “parachute parents.” They always want their children to have a soft landing. They’re the parents who always take their children’s side when an offense occurs and believe that their children should never have to pay any consequences for their behavior. If parents have this attitude, the children soon internalize it.
They can’t take criticism and they don’t learn from experience. If they can’t succeed immediately at something, they blame others or quit. Their parents will fight all their battles for them and will never make them take responsibility for their actions. They often lack compassion because as the center of their universes, who has time to notice others?
Parents have to look beyond getting their children into a great school and focus more on raising responsible people who will care for others as well as themselves.
Jill S. BeermanAtlanta
To the Editor:
As a new father of a 4-month-old son and someone who is hoping to avoid the helicopter parent mentality, I was disappointed to read the headline of Pamela Druckerman’s article. Ms. Druckerman argues that helicopter parenting works. She cites as evidence to support this academic test scores and postsecondary school attendance.
However, test scores and schooling are not the sole measures of a child’s worth. Other equally important (if not more important) outcomes include: emotional well-being, the ability to form meaningful relationships with others, and finding a sense of fulfillment and joy in one’s life. By letting my son learn from his own mistakes and rejecting the micromanagement and over-scheduling of helicopter parenting, I hope to set him on a path to becoming a good person with a kind heart.
Aaron SpolinLos Angeles
To the Editor:
Pamela Druckerman deems intensive parenting a success because research shows that children of these parents have higher test scores. According to Ms. Druckerman, “the holy grails of modern parenting” are “college and postgraduate degrees” simply because there is a “huge” financial payoff.
While there is technically a payoff of higher-paying jobs, not all parents aspire for their child to become a “success” via a high-paying career. The world needs teachers and social workers, who are not among the highest paid although their services are vital. Society also needs plumbers, electricians, mechanics and general contractors, who often are not college-educated.
Measuring success through test scores can also be dangerous. According to a recent study published in Pediatrics, the rate of suicidal ideation and suicide attempts among adolescents has increased formidably in the last decade. There are many factors that may be affecting the mental health of young people. However, it would be prudent to look at the consistent messaging that success is defined as a high G.P.A. and acceptance into the best college.
Catherine PearlmanLaguna Niguel, Calif.The writer is a clinical social worker, an assistant professor at Brandman University and the author of “Ignore It!: How Selectively Looking the Other Way Can Decrease Behavioral Problems and Increase Parenting Satisfaction.”
To the Editor:
Re “Let Children Get Bored Again” (Sunday Review, Feb. 3):
Thank you to Pamela Paul for her piece on the importance of boredom. One of the few constants on my middle-school classroom bulletin board over the years has been Maira Kalman’s New Yorker cover featuring the Institute for Advanced Study of Daydreaming. The sage advice of Lorraine Hansberry has remained above my whiteboard for almost two decades now: “Never be afraid to sit awhile and think.”
Life rushes us too much, yet so much of value is born of the interstitial pause. It’s become almost sacred to me. There’s a reason I stave off a smartphone. I fear it would assert itself, like a tour director, over the flights of fancy born of the nonspecifically occupied mind. If you sit with your own thoughts for a while, you never know where you may end up. And that’s a good thing, for all of us.
Charlotte AgellYarmouth, Me.
To the Editor:
Pamela Paul’s essay reminded me of the value of imaginative play. I remember when trying to comb the knots out of my toddler daughter Emma’s hair 30 years ago, I would tell her a story about a rat named Seymour making a nest in her hair and weave multiple plots about Seymour each time we set about this task. This delighted both of us. Rather than enduring a struggle with an uncomfortable and tedious part of grooming, we both had the opportunity to giggle and enjoy.
Storytelling continued in many venues, including long car trips, which could otherwise seem boring but were turned into novel entertainment, as Emma, my husband and I developed the characters and twists and turns in the collective stories.
The most powerful antidote to boredom is creativity, and there are multiple ways to nurture the imagination within ourselves and our children. Perhaps some are more predisposed to this ability than others (both my husband and daughter are artists), but few are immune to the power of laughter and good fun.
To the Editor:
Arguably the most prescient example of the unintended consequences of techno-hubris was Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein.” Her story was a spinoff of boredom.
Cooped up in Lord Byron’s Villa Diodati in the 1816 summer of endless rain, she and the other illustrious people gathered challenged one another to write a ghost story. She writes in the introduction to the 1831 edition: “I felt that blank incapability of invention which is the greatest misery of authorship, when dull Nothing replies to our anxious invocations. ‘Have you thought of a story?’ I was asked each morning, and each morning I was forced to reply with a mortifying negative.”
Time machine Mary Shelley to today. Would she have endured morning after morning of “Have you thought of a story?” Why bother writing a ghost story when you’ve got a streaming cornucopia on your smartphone? Ditto for children.
Jeff RobbinsLong Beach, N.Y.B:
呱呱马经图库青蛙系列4【一】【品】【红】（【学】【名】：Euphorbia pulcherrimaWilld. et Kl.）：【灌】【木】。【根】【圆】【柱】【状】，【极】【多】【分】【枝】。【茎】【直】【立】，【高】1-3【米】，【直】【径】1-4 【厘】【米】，【无】【毛】。【叶】【互】【生】，【卵】【状】【椭】【圆】【形】、【长】【椭】【圆】【形】【或】【披】【针】【形】，【绿】【色】，【边】【缘】【全】【缘】【或】【浅】【裂】【或】【波】【状】【浅】【裂】，【叶】【面】【被】【短】【柔】【毛】【或】【无】【毛】，【叶】【背】【被】【柔】【毛】；【苞】【叶】5-7【枚】，【狭】【椭】【圆】【形】，【长】3-7【厘】【米】，【宽】1-2【厘】【米】，【通】【常】【全】【缘】，【极】【少】【边】【缘】【浅】【波】【状】【分】【裂】，【朱】【红】【色】。【花】【序】【数】【个】【聚】【伞】【排】【列】【于】【枝】【顶】；【总】【苞】【坛】【状】，【淡】【绿】【色】，【边】【缘】【齿】【状】5【裂】，【裂】【片】【三】【角】【形】，【无】【毛】。【蒴】【果】，【三】【棱】【状】【圆】【形】，【平】【滑】【无】【毛】。【种】【子】【卵】【状】，【灰】【色】【或】【淡】【灰】【色】，【近】【平】【滑】；【无】【种】【阜】。【花】【果】【期】10【月】【至】【次】【年】4
【身】【边】【再】【一】【次】【传】【来】【她】【的】【声】【音】“【我】【并】【没】【有】【不】【信】【任】【你】，【不】【告】【诉】【你】，【我】【的】【计】【划】，【只】【是】【觉】【得】【如】【果】【说】【出】【来】【你】【也】【就】【没】【有】【看】【戏】【的】【乐】【趣】【了】。” 【说】【完】【唐】【悦】【心】【侧】【头】【睁】【开】【眼】【睛】【看】【着】【他】“【慕】【炎】，【停】【下】【你】【所】【有】【的】【计】【划】，【低】【调】【行】【事】，【这】【样】【他】【才】【不】【会】【再】【一】【次】【对】【你】【下】【毒】【手】。” 【萧】【慕】【炎】【沉】【默】【不】【语】，【只】【是】【看】【着】【她】，【原】【来】【连】【她】【都】【知】【道】，【是】【自】【己】【的】【动】【作】【太】【大】，【才】
【七】【月】【五】【号】，【张】【安】【平】【的】【私】【房】【菜】【馆】【迎】【来】【了】【另】【一】【个】【大】【人】【物】。 【张】【安】【平】【已】【经】【习】【惯】【了】【接】【触】【这】【个】【圈】【子】，【从】【某】【种】【层】【面】【上】【来】【说】，【他】【也】【很】【感】【激】【杨】【修】【远】。 【在】【他】【自】【己】【的】【圈】【子】【中】，【张】【安】【平】【已】【经】【麻】【木】【了】，【麻】【木】【到】【要】【靠】【别】【人】【故】【事】【去】【给】【自】【己】【新】【鲜】【感】。 【人】，【目】【标】【真】【的】【很】【重】【要】。 【韩】【春】【藤】，【华】【国】【著】【名】【演】【员】、【编】【剧】、【导】【演】。 【年】【轻】【时】【提】【名】【过】【影】【帝】，
【云】【烨】【无】【法】，【只】【得】【接】【过】【刺】【棱】【放】【在】【地】【上】，【再】【回】【过】【头】【来】【时】，【只】【见】【黑】【色】【的】【泥】【淖】【上】【苏】【玫】【的】【眼】【睛】【都】【看】【不】【见】【了】，【只】【留】【下】【黑】【色】【的】【长】**【在】【泥】【面】【上】。 【云】【烨】【大】【惊】，【扑】【过】【去】，【抓】【住】【苏】【玫】【的】【长】【发】【将】【她】【从】【黑】【泥】【里】【拖】【了】【出】【来】。 【苏】【玫】【满】【脸】【是】【泥】，【头】【顶】【刺】【痛】！ 【云】【烨】【把】【她】【上】【半】【身】【拖】【出】【泥】【潭】，【苏】【玫】【立】【即】【把】【一】【只】【手】【伸】【给】【云】【烨】，【然】【后】【低】【低】【地】【说】【了】【一】【句】：“
【孙】【悟】【空】【懒】【洋】【洋】【躺】【在】【一】【条】【桃】【树】【枝】【上】，【枕】【着】【一】【根】【铁】【棒】，【眼】【睛】【无】【聊】【看】【着】【正】【上】【方】【一】【颗】【红】【彤】【彤】【的】【桃】【子】，【心】【里】【正】【考】【虑】【怎】【么】【吃】【它】。 “【是】【先】【咬】【桃】【尖】，【还】【是】【桃】【身】？【桃】【毛】【还】【洗】【吗】？” 【孙】【悟】【空】【没】【考】【虑】【很】【长】【时】【间】，【他】【不】【是】【爱】【纠】【结】【的】【人】。【想】【不】【明】【白】，【伸】【出】【毛】【茸】【茸】【的】【手】，【一】【把】【扭】【下】【红】【色】【桃】【子】，【唔】~【放】【入】【嘴】【中】，【胡】【乱】【嚼】【了】【起】【来】，【任】【由】【桃】【汁】【从】【嘴】【角】【流】呱呱马经图库青蛙系列4【萧】【瑾】【寒】【追】【出】【去】【没】【多】【久】，【就】【看】【见】【山】【间】【风】【雪】【中】，【有】【一】【抹】【俏】【丽】【的】【红】【色】【身】【影】【在】【慢】【慢】【前】【行】。【虽】【是】【夜】【里】，【他】【却】【仍】【是】【能】【一】【眼】【认】【出】【那】【便】【是】【他】【心】【心】【念】【念】【的】【人】。 【他】【几】【步】【追】【过】【去】，【将】【人】【拉】【入】【怀】【中】，【轻】【声】【询】【问】：“【大】【半】【夜】【的】，【又】【这】【么】【大】【风】【雪】，【怎】【么】【一】【个】【人】【跑】【出】【来】【了】？” 【怀】【中】【的】【小】【人】【儿】【先】【是】【一】【愣】，【随】【即】【展】【颜】【笑】【了】：“【我】【修】【炼】【静】【不】【下】【心】，【忽】【然】【想】
【选】【择】【冥】【界】【地】【图】，【传】【送】，【眼】【前】【景】【物】【变】【换】。 【事】【实】【上】，【冥】【界】【的】【场】【景】【和】【阿】【尔】【法】【所】【料】【相】【差】【无】【几】。 【用】【两】【个】【字】【概】【括】，【就】【是】“【阴】【森】”。 【通】【红】【的】【太】【阳】【高】【挂】【在】【天】【上】，【没】【有】【一】【丝】【的】【温】【度】，【只】【起】【照】【亮】【的】【作】【用】。 【可】【以】【直】【视】，【不】【会】【刺】【眼】，【看】【久】【了】【会】【发】【现】【这】【颗】【太】【阳】【不】【会】【动】，【就】【干】【杵】【在】【那】。 【天】【空】【上】【除】【了】【太】【阳】【再】【无】【其】【他】，【一】【片】【云】【都】【没】【有】。
“【凌】【若】【溪】【女】【士】！【我】【们】【可】【以】【十】【分】【负】【责】【任】【地】【说】，【您】【是】【健】【康】【的】！”【那】【位】【医】【生】【的】【脸】【上】【带】【着】【属】【于】【政】【府】【公】【文】【一】【般】【的】【庄】【重】【和】【严】【肃】。 【哦】！ 【凌】【若】【溪】【从】【沉】【思】【中】【清】【醒】【过】【来】。 “【所】【以】【说】！【恭】【喜】【您】！”【两】【位】【医】【生】【同】【时】【走】【上】【前】【来】，【笑】【着】【向】【凌】【若】【溪】【道】【喜】！ “【可】【是】！【我】【有】【点】【儿】【不】【敢】【相】【信】――” 【困】【惑】【自】【己】【十】【多】【年】【的】【那】【种】【病】【居】【然】【在】【不】【知】【不】【觉】
【一】【个】【原】【本】【空】【旷】【的】【河】【岸】【边】【上】【在】【一】【天】【之】【内】【就】【扎】【起】【了】【一】【个】【个】【尖】【尖】【的】【帐】【篷】，【工】【匠】【们】【开】【始】【建】【造】【锻】【造】【台】【和】【防】【御】【工】【事】。 【这】【里】【距】【离】【就】【是】【金】【城】【的】【边】【境】【地】【区】【与】【瀚】【海】【关】【有】【着】【六】【十】【多】【里】【的】【距】【离】，【同】【时】【也】【是】【拜】【金】【军】【阀】【征】【讨】【瀚】【海】【关】【的】【后】【勤】【保】【障】【点】【之】【一】。 “【叮】【叮】……”【一】【声】【声】【的】【敲】【击】【声】【在】【深】【沉】【的】【夜】【色】【之】【中】【回】【响】【着】，【整】【个】【营】【地】【中】【的】【工】【人】【们】【都】【已】【经】【纷】【纷】